Rocky versus Thunderlips was more compelling.
After months of hype, numerous press tours, a weigh-in, and a fight, Floyd Mayweather versus Connor McGregor came and went. “The Great White Hope” versus “The Greatest Boxer Ever” was built as a spectacle of biblical proportions. A clash of the titans. A must see summer blockbuster film. The result? A con job that rivals the one Floyd Mayweather and Manny Pacquiao pulled on the viewing public back in May of 2015.
This is exactly what we deserved. We deserved to be hoodwinked and bamboozled by a has been boxer and a man in way over his head. We paid $99.95 to watch a farce. We epitomized the meme of Frye from Futurama and told Flyod Mayweather and Connor McGregor to shut up and take our money in the hopes that a woman beating dirt-bag and a racially insensitive loud-mouth would titillate us into believing we would experience an entertaining fight.
There was evidence of this fight being a farce from the start. Floyd “Money” Mayweather walked to the ring dressed in a black and gold jacket he stole from Michael Jackson’s closet and wore a black mask akin to the one Ms. Puff wore in an episode of Spongebob Squarepants.
He wore this mask in order to hide a smirk and his utter disdain for the viewing public he claimed he owed for the Pacquiao fight and wanted to “entertain” the fans. Floyd knew the check had cleared before the first bell had rung.
Connor McGregor’s demeanor may exude confidence, but he knew he had no chance in this bout. This was an opportunity for him to further expand his celebrity stardom by participating in this charade, and he made like the Steve Miller Band and ceased the opportunity to take the money and run. He made millions of dollars by agreeing to get his face rearranged. Sure, his “**** you” suit was nothing short of clickbait worthy, but when your most memorable moment of this entire farce was a cheap custom suit you wore, we should’ve known just how abysmal the entire exercise would be.
The farce first started with the presentation of McGregor’s UFC title belts and Mayweather’s boxing championship belts. This was undoubtedly shameless advertising for both UFC and boxing, and resembled two kids holding up plastic WWE title belts before play fighting. Showtime desperately tried to convince paying customers they were watching an entertaining fight. Ring announcers/ color commentators Mauro Ranallo, Paulie Malignaggi, and Al Bernstein shamelessly lauded the awkward McGregor and continually gave him the benefit of the doubt. They contiually used some iteration of the word “entertain” throughout the 45 minutes of so called action. There’s no doubt McGregor was the aggressor and won first three rounds… because Floyd was toying with him.
Once round four arrived, Mayweather carried McGregor in a fight he predicted would not even go the distance. He had to give him those first three rounds so that audiences wouldn’t turn away so quickly. They should’ve changed the channel immediately after seeing the obvious product placement of Body Armor being used to hydrate the fighters, and the fact that Mayweather had no more than a scratch on his face and body while McGregor’s face and body looked like hell, and had to be iced down to avoid resembling a tomato.
Though past his prime, Floyd Mayweather can sleepwalk his way through a boxing match. All he has to do is his trademark shoulder-roll move and avoid being hit while landing a couple of combinations en route to a victory. Floyd Mayweather is arguably the greatest boxer of all time, a Las Vegas showman who listlessly performed his act and made millions of dollars by merely rolling out of bed in a tenth round TKO victory.
Does this fight resolve the argument that boxers are more skilled the Mixed Martial Artists? Hardly. This was vaudevillian buffoonery at its finest, not a true measure of whether a famed UFC fighter could save face in the realm of boxing. It didn’t help that the UFC fighter, who won’t go down as even the best athlete in his sport, went up against quite possibly the pound for pound king of boxing, albeit a has been who came out of retirement to participate in the bout.
In the end, we should be ashamed of ourselves. I know I am. I tuned in hoping at the very least to be entertained by this joke, but I felt as if I was watching a summer box-office bomb that would never end. I would’ve rather watched the King Arthur: Legend of the Sword movie released earlier this summer that Connor McGregor passed on to be in this fight. At least McGregor’s acting debut would’ve been something to behold.
We would’ve been better off re-watching Rocky III when Rocky fought Thunderlips. At least that was for charity. If you are trying to convince yourself what you just spent $99.95 and watched was even amusing, stop kidding yourself. If you aren’t calling your cable provider right now and demanding your money back, you’re doing it wrong. Maybe there’s a chance that by doing so, you’ll actually end up talking to a real person rather than a voice automated message. The sound you’ll end up hearing is the sound of popping champagne bottles, the sound of dollar bills smacking together, and Floyd Mayweather and Connor McGregor laughing whilst joyously screaming, “GOT ‘EM!”