Bro-Picks: NFL Week 7 Predictions

Time for the 2-minute drill at the end of the first half of the NFL season.

We’ve reached the 2-minute warning of the first half of the NFL season. So far, one would be hard-pressed to say their is a clear favorite to win the Super Bowl.

The Kansas City Chiefs and the Philadelphia Eagles may sit atop of the NFL, but have yet to establish themselves as powerhouses. Teams like the Los Angeles Rams and the Buffalo Bills have been pleasant surprises, but their early season success might not last heading into the second half of the season.

Meanwhile, teams like the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and the Oakland Raiders were believed to be primed to take the next step towards title contention, but have stumbled through the first half of the season. Then there are the Cleveland Browns and the San Francisco 49ers, who are in a race for the number 1 pick in the NFL Draft and might not win a game this year.

There’s enough time left in the first half of the NFL season for these teams to score and get themselves on the track towards Minneapolis for Super Bowl 52, but they’ll need to execute the two minute drill to perfection in order to do so.

Last Week: 5-9

Overall: 47-44

Kansas City Chiefs at Oakland Raiders (Thursday Night Football)

The Raiders have fallen well short of their Super Bowl expectations, and the once dynamic offense has struggled under the guidance of first year offensive coordinator Todd Downing. This is a must win game for the silver and black, but with the Chiefs coming to town off an embarrassing home loss, it may be time for the Raiders to make off-season plans starting in early January.

Winner: Chiefs

 

Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Buffalo Bills

Tampa Bay QB James Winston is ailing, and the Buccaneers haven’t taken the next step as many thought they would. It might be time to start taking the Bills seriously.

Winner: Bills

 

Carolina Panthers at Chicago Bears

Bears RB Jordan Howard gave us a blast from the past with his 36 carries for 167 yards performance against the Ravens. But the Bears seem to only be beating AFC North teams this year, with their only other win coming against the Steelers. Last time I checked, the Panther play in the NFC South.

Winner: Panthers

 

Lock of the Week: Tennessee Titans at Cleveland Browns

Well Cleveland, you still have LeBron.

Lock of the Week Winner: Titans

 

New Orleans Saints at Green Bay Packers

The Packers season is all but finished with QB Aaron Rodgers out for most of if not the rest of the season due to a broken collarbone. The once putrid Saints defense seems to be finding their grove, and that’s without QB Drew Bree’s playing exceptionally well.

Winner: Saints

 

Jacksonville Jaguars at Indianapolis Colts

The AFC South is a battle of ineptitude at this point, and it doesn’t look like Colts AB Andrew Luck is coming back this season due to a shoulder injury. Jacoby Brissett has done a fine job fillinf in for Luck, and the Jaguars should strongly consider making a play for Brissett if they want to be considered true contenders.

Winner: Jaguars

 

Upset of the Week: Arizona Cardinals at Los Angeles Rams

Saints head coach Sean Payton owes RB Adrian Peterson an apology. He still has plenty in the tank, running for 134 yards and 2 touchdowns on 26 carries last week in a win over the Bucs. The more of the load Peterson can take off of QB Carson Palmer’s shoulders, the better off the Cardinals will be.

Upset of the Week Winner: Cardinals

 

New York Jets at Miami Dolphins

Somehow, both of these teams are still in the race for the AFC East division title heading into Week 7. In a division that’s currently wide open, both of these teams need to win in order to keep pace for the division crown.

Winner: Dolphins

 

Baltimore Ravens at Minnesota Vikings

A golden opportunity has arisen for the Vikings now that Packers QB Aaron Rodgers is out. And the Ravens lost to Mitchell Trubisky at home last week. Yikes.

Winner: Vikings

 

Dallas Cowboys at San Francisco 49ers

The C. J. Beathard era is officially underway in San Francisco (* Santa Clara, because Jed York*). It doesn’t matter who plays at QB for the 49ers, they stink. The Cowboys may be going through more twists and turns than The Young and the Restless with the Ezekiel Elliott soap opera, but they will to thrive off of dysfunction this week against a team that could be staring at an 0-11 record before their first winnable game.

Winner: Cowboys

 

Cincinnati Bengals at Pittsburgh Steelers

You can’t quite get a grip on the Steelers. One week they look like Super Bowl contenders, the next week they look like pretenders. Bet on the former this week in a heated divisional match-up at home.

Winner: Steelers

 

Denver Broncos at Los Angeles Chargers

The Chargers are on a winning streak, and the Broncos laid an egg last week on Sunday Night Football. Which of these teams show up is as unpredictable as to what President Donald Trump will tweet next.

Winner: Broncos

 

Seattle Seahawks at New York Giants

The Giants finally got their first win of the season sans WRs Odell Beckham Jr. and Brandon Marshall against a good Broncos defense. They won’t have the same luck this week against the legion of boom.

Winner: Seahawks

 

Atlanta Falcons at New England Patriots (Sunday Night Football)

Just in case a Patriots fan or Mark Wahlberg  hasn’t reminded you, the Falcons blew a 28-3 lead in Super Bowl 51 against the Patriots. Last week, just ahead of their Super Bowl 51 re-match, the Falcons blew a 17-0 lead against the Dolphins. If that isn’t an ominous sign of what’s to come, then what is?

Winner: Patriots

 

Washington Redskins at Philadelphia Eagles

The NFC East is always a brutal division, and this week features a key match-up that will put the winner in good playoff standing. The Redskins need this game more to avoid being 0-2 in the division, QB Carson Wentz has the Eagles flying high, and they’re going to be tough to ground.

Winner: Eagles

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Bro-Picks: NFL Week 6 Predictions

The picks keep coming.

Week 5 of the NFL season saw some entertaining match-ups, but also gave us a glimpse into who’s a contender and who’s a pretender. Let’s not make those determinations until midway through the season, because no one is willing to say the New York Jets are the favorite to win the AFC East with a 3-2 record. It’s much too early.

Last Week: 6-8

Overall: 42-35

Philadelphia Eagles at Carolina Panthers (Thursday Night Football)

A match-up between two of the best teams not only in the NFC but maybe even the NFL itself, this has the potential to be the best Thursday Night Football game ever. With two young stud QBs in Cam Newton and Carson Wentz starring in this match-up, Thursday Night Football won’t be the bane of everyone’s existence this week.

Winner: Panthers

Chicago Bears at Baltimore Ravens

After not being able to find the end zone for two straight weeks, the Ravens found the perfect remedy to cure their scoring woes: the Oakland Raiders defense. Next on the agenda, Bears rookie QB Mitchell Trubisky.

Winner: Ravens

 

Green Bay Packers at Minnesota Vikings

Aaron Rodgers is a one man team. The Vikings can’t decide between an oft hurt Sam Bradford or career backup Case Keenum to hold down the quarterback position.

Winner: Packers

 

San Francisco 49ers at Washington Redskins

The 49ers should take a good hard look at Redskins QB Kirk (*or Kurt?*) Cousins. He could be their QB of the future.

Winner: Redskins

 

Detroit Lions at New Orleans Saints

The Adrian Peterson era/ error mercilessly came to an end after the Saints traded him to the Cardinals. That doesn’t solve all their problems, but with Lions QB Matt Stafford not at full strength, the Saints seem prime to climb back to mediocrity.

Winner: Saints

 

Miami Dolphins at Atlanta Falcons

The Dolphins are embroiled in controversy due to their now former offensive line coach Chris Foerster being filmed snorting a white powdery substance. Hardly a rallying cry for a struggling Dolphins offense.

Winner: Falcons

 

Cleveland Browns at Houston Texans

Texans QB DeShaun Watson will make the Browns pay for passing on him in the 2017 NFL Draft. But look on the bright side Cleveland, you’ve still got the Indians… who blew a 2-0 series lead against the Yankees. Well, you’ve got LeBron James… for one more year.

Winner: Texans

 

New England Patriots at New York Jets

The Jets are riding high because of a three game winning streak. Hope they enjoyed it while it lasted.

Winner: Patriots

 

Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Arizona Cardinals

Carson Palmer, Larry Fitzgerald, and Adrian Peterson all on the same team?! This team could go to the Super Bowl… if it were 2009.

Winner: Buccaneers

 

Los Angeles Rams at Jacksonville Jaguars

These two teams are surprisingly 3-2 through 5 games, but let’s pump the breaks on declaring these teams the favorite to win their respective divisions. This pick will also be a first in Bros Can’t Hang history…

Winner: Jaguars

 

Los Angeles Chargers at Oakland Raiders

Something is amiss in Raiderville after a 2-3 start, and the Chargers are coming off of an emotional first win. In a key AFC West showdown, the Raiders need this game if they hope to remain in title contention.

Winner: Raiders

 

Pittsburgh Steelers at Kansas City Chiefs

Ben Roethlisberger threw 5, count ’em, 5 interceptions last week against the Jaguars. He has openly considered retirement since the off season. The Kansas City Chiefs defense, who are fourth in the NFL in takeaways thus far, may accelerate that consideration.

Winner: Chiefs

 

New York Giants at Denver Broncos (Sunday Night Football)

The Giants are 0-5, and there are talks of QB Eli Manning being traded to the Jaguars to reunite with his old coach, Tom Coughlin. WR Odell Beckham Jr. is out for the season with a broken ankle. WR Brandon Marshall is out for the year as well.  Can things get any worse for the Giants? Yes, because the Denver Broncos’ number 1 ranked defense are a pulverizing bunch.

Winner: Broncos

 

Indianapolis Colts at Tennessee Titans (Monday Night Football)

Titans QB Marcus Mariota and Colts QB Andrew Luck are injured. Remember when these teams were rising superpowers in the lowly AFC South? That seems like a distant memory.

Winner: Titans

Bro- Picks: NFL Week 5 Predictions

1 quarter down, 3 to go.

We’re a quarter of the way through the NFL season, and to say there have been surprises would be an understatement. Such shocking developments include:

The New England Patriots are 2-2, and their defense is on pace to be one of the worst defenses in NFL history. QB Tom Brady may be somewhat of an ageless wonder at 40 years old (stats), but even he cant overcome a historically bad defense. There’s not enough crow to go around for all the dopey experts who predicted this team would go 19-0.

The Oakland soon to be Las Vegas Raiders looked like a force to be reckoned with the first two weeks of the season, and even held a dance party because of it. Since then they’ve looked like the Jamarcus Russell era Raiders, getting punk’d on Sunday Night Football against the Redskins, and looking impotent against the Broncos. To make matters worse, QB Derek Carr is out 2-6 weeks with a transverse fracture in his back. Should Carr come back quickly there’s a good chance the Raiders could recover. If Carr is out for an extended period of time, the Raiders’ season is sunk.

The Jets are 2-2. So much for tanking.

The Dallas Cowboys are 2-2, and everyone seems to be panicking. Prior to last seasons 13-3 outing, the Cowboys went 40-40 from 2011-2015. If anything, the Cowboys have been their typical selves so far this season. Factor in a defense that can’t stop a nose bleed, and it’ll be tough for QB Dak Prescott and company to match last year’s success.

Last Week: 10-6

Overall: 36-27

Upset of the Week: New England Patriots at Tampa Bay Buccaneers (Thursday Night Football)

The New England Patriots are lucky to be in the AFC East, because nobody is buying the Buffalo Bills as the best team in that division. The Patriots defense has allowed every opponent’s QB to throw for over 300 yards this year, and Buccaneers QB Jameis Winston will fest upon New England’s poor pass defense.

Upset of the Week Winner: Buccaneers

San Francisco 49ers at Indianapolis Colts

Colts QB Andrew Luck is finally practicing, but there is no timetable for his return. This is the last winnable game for the 49ers until December 3rd against the Chicago Bears, but it will be Colts QB Jacoby Brissett who will show flashes of being a franchise QB, perhaps even one the 49ers should look into next off season.

Winner: Colts

New York Jets at Cleveland Browns

I like Browns coach Hue Jackson a lot. He deserves better than the dumpster fire known as the Cleveland Browns. And aren’t the Jets supposed to be tanking?

Winner: Jets

Lock of the Week: Jacksonville Jaguars at Pittsburgh Steelers

The soap opera known as the Pittsburgh Steelers never seems to end. First WR Antonio Brown throws a temper tantrum on Sunday after not receiving the ball when he was wide open. QB Ben Roethlisberger then chides Antonio Brown publicly after saying he wished Brown had voiced his frustrations privately. All of this would spell disaster for most teams, but none of it matters, as the Steelers play the perpetually schizophrenic Jaguars on this week’s episode.

Winner: Steelers

Los Angeles Chargers at New York Giants

A battle of 0-4 teams. One team feels as if they are playing road games every week since opposing teams’ fans take over their tarp covered, 27,00 seat soccer stadium. The other team is the worst New York football team right now, and that was supposed to be the Jets. It’s getting tiresome picking the Giants every week, but they’re playing a Chargers team that has got to be the biggest joke other than the Browns right now. This has got to be the Giants’ week, right?

Winner: Giants

Buffalo Bills at Cincinnati Bengals

The Bills, whom many thought were tanking, are 3-1 and in first place in the AFC East. That may not last much longer, but for one more week, the good times will roll in Buffalo.

Winner: Bills

Carolina Panthers at Detroit Lions

Cam Newton seems to have gotten his swagger back after scoring 4 touchdowns against the Patriots last week. That swagger carried over in the wrong way during a press conference Wednesday, where he said “It’s funny” when a female reporter asked him a question regarding the routes his wide receivers ran in week 4. There’s nothing funny about the Lions, who lead the NFL with 11 takeaways this season. While Newton’s remarks were reprehensible at best, Cam has his groove back, and that’s all the Panthers need.

Winner: Panthers

Tennessee Titans at Miami Dolphins

The Titans may be without QB Marcus Mariota this weekend, and instead of signing a QB who could actually run their offense (*cough* Colin Kaepernick *cough*), they signed Brandon Weeden. They’re lucky they get to face smokin’ Jay Cutler and the Miami Dolphins this week, whose offense looks like it’s being ran by a man enjoying his retirement.

Winner: Titans

Arizona Cardinals at Philadelphia Eagles

The Cardinals two wins have come against the the Colts and the 49ers. The Eagles have proven to be the beasts of the NFC East through 4 games, and it’s games like these against vulnerable teams at home you must win in order to be considered true contenders.

Winner: Eagles

Baltimore Ravens at Oakland Raiders

As stated earlier, the Raiders will be without QB Derek Carr for sometime. Their backup is former 16th overall pick and only the QB taken in the first round of the 2013 NFL Draft EJ Manuel (*seriously, nobody wants to call Colin Kaepernick?*). The Ravens defense may be stout with 11 takeaways this season, but the Raiders will find a way to eek out a victory against a Ravens team whose QB Joe Flacco can no longer be considered elite.

Winner: Raiders

Seattle Seahawks at Los Angeles Rams

The Rams are the surprise team at the top of the NFC West with a 3-1 record, including a stunning win over the Cowboys at Jerry World last week. This will be the biggest indicator of whether they are a true contender or not, as it has been QB Russell Wilson and the Legion of Boom Seattle Seahawks who have owned this Division since 2013. The Rams aren’t ready for the spotlight.

Winner: Seahawks

Green Bay Packers at Dallas Cowboys

A rematch of last year’s Divisional Playoff game (*quite possibly one of the best ever*), the Packers have injuries upon injuries stacking up. The Cowboys look vulnerable after looking invincible last season. The Cowboys need this game more to prove they are still a force to be reckoned with, and anticipating they will play with that urgency is enough to prevail over Packers QB Aaron Rodgers.

Winner: Cowboys

Kansas City Chiefs at Houston Texans (Sunday Night Football)

The Chiefs are the only undefeated team left in the NFL at 4-0. Chiefs coach Andy Reid wins 61% of his regular season games, so we should’ve seen this success coming. However, they’ll be facing a dynamic young QB in Deshaun Watson this week. After his 5 touchdown performance against the Titans last week, maybe Watson’s former college coach Dabo Swinney wasn’t far off when he said any team that passes up on him in the NFL draft is passing up on the next Michael Jordan.

Winner: Texans

Minnesota Vikings at Chicago Bears (Monday Night Football)

The Bears have mercilessly ended the Mike Glennon era (*or error*) and will start rookie QB Mitch Trubisky this week. Seriously? The Bears want to trot out their prized possession against a defense that is only allowing offenses to score 19 points a game? Hardly a confidence booster for a QB making his NFL debut in prime time.

USP NFL: CHICAGO BEARS-MITCHELL TRUBISKY PRESS CON S FBN USA IL

Winner: Vikings

 

Bro-Picks: NFL Week 3 Predictions

Week 3 holds the key.

Week 2 of the NFL season didn’t provide very many surprises, but there were some keen observations to be made.

  • For everyone who thought the sky was falling after the New England Patriot’s Week 1 loss at home, don’t you feel silly now? QB Tom Brady dominated a porous New Orleans Saints defense, throwing for 447 yards and 3 touchdowns. Tom Brady is fine, and the Patriots will be fine.

  • The NFL might regret letting the owners run rampant the last two off-seasons and allowing the Rams and Chargers to move to Los Angeles. There was at least some buzz surrounding the Ram’s move, but the Chargers have been largely unwanted. Neither team has drawn a consistently big crowd since their arrival, and their combined attendance of 81,993 (56,612 for the Rams,  25,381 for the Chargers) still didn’t match the attendance of 84,714 for the Texas vs. USC college football game at the LA Coliseum. Ouch.

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  • This is something you just won’t get in Las Vegas once the Raiders move there…

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Last Week: 12-4

Overall: 21-10

Los Angeles Rams at San Francisco 49ers (Thursday Night Football)

The Rams look like an actual team now that Sean McVay is coaching the offense up. QB Jared Goff may not be setting the world ablaze with his passing ability, but he’s done more than 49ers QB Brian Hoyer, who threw for an embarrassing 99 yards against Seattle. Another Thursday Night Football clunker.

Winner: Rams

 

Baltimore Ravens at Jacksonville Jaguars (in London)

Another god forsaken aspect of the NFL are the games played in London. Most of the time they suck, and anytime London’s “best” football team, the Jacksonville Jaguars are involved, you know it’s about time the NFL rethink playing these overseas games. No wonder it’s being streamed for free on Yahoo, who would would actually want to turn on their television to watch this atrocity?

Winner: Ravens

 

Denver Broncos at Buffalo Bills

The Broncos made the Cowboys quit last week, and QB Trevor Siemian has looked like John Elway 2.0 through the first two weeks. They face a tough Buffalo Bills defense in week 3, and they’ll bruise and batter the Broncos but won’t have enough offensive firepower to overcome the Broncos vaunted defense.

Winner: Broncos

 

New Orleans Saints at Carolina Panthers

Coming off of off-season shoulder surgery, Panthers QB Cam Newton has looked rusty thus far. Losing his favorite target, TE Greg Olsen, won’t help, but the New Orleans Saints couldn’t stop a nosebleed.

Winner: Panthers

 

Pittsburgh Steelers at Chicago Bears

The Bears are already in hibernation, and the outcry of Bears fans to throw in rookie QB Mitch Trubisky makes no sense. Do you want your potential franchise QB to get killed and lose confidence?

Winner: Steelers

 

Upset of the Week: Atlanta Falcons at Detroit Lions

This is a “prove it” game for the Lions. Their offense has looked impressive so far behind QB Matt Stafford, and if DE Ziggy Ansah can get to the QB like he did against the Giants (*3 sacks*), the Lions may be for real. The Falcons have yet to display signs of a “Super Bowl Hangover”, but those signs will show come Sunday afternoon.

Upset of the Week Winner: Lions

 

Cleveland Browns at Indianapolis Colts

*Please rise for a moment of silence for all of those stuck watching this game on their local television stations and don’t have NFL Sunday Ticket.*

Winner: Browns

 

Houston Texans at New England Patriots

Texans rookie QB DeShaun Watson looked about as good as once can expect for a rookie starting his first NFL game on a short week. His rushing touchdown against the Bengals was Michael Vick-esque, but starting off his career with back to back road starts won’t boost his confidence, especially behind an offensive line that could really use holdout LT Duane Brown about now.

Winner : Patriots
Miami Dolphins at New York Jets

It’s beyond tempting to take the New York Jets here. The Dolphins are riding high after a win against the Chargers, and Dolphins QB “Smokin” Jay Cutler is due for an awful performance. But remember, J. E. T. S. spells lose.

Winner: Dolphins

 

New York Giants at Philadelphia Eagles

The Giants are a mess offensively, and QB Eli Manning and head coach Ben McAdoo don’t seem to be getting along. The Eagles put up a valiant effort against the Chiefs at Arrowhead Stadium last week and as of now look like the team to beat in the NFC East, but the Giants defense will do just enough to stop the presses in New York for a day.

Winner: Giants

 

Seattle Seahawks at Tennessee Titans

The Titans resembled the team many picked to rise up and become a playoff contender in their 37-16 drubbing of the Jaguars last week, but they’re still not ready for prime time. Yes, the Seahawks have more holes in their offensive lines than Swiss cheese at the moment, but their defense will step-in and lay down the boom in Nashville.

Winner: Seahawks

 

Lock of the Week: Cincinnati Bengals at Green Bay Packers

I like Marvin Lewis. But the number of times this man has failed to deliver a true contender in his tenure as head coach has finally taken its toll. Bengals fans are crying for the team to start QB AJ McCarron over QB Andy Dalton, but will that really help matters? The Packers have no QB problems, they have Aaron Rodgers. ‘Nuff said.

Lock of the Week Winner: Packers

 

Kansas City Chiefs at Los Angeles Chargers

The Chargers can’t even sell out their 27,000 seat soccer stadium. The Chargers can’t win close games. Does any of this bode well for them as they prepare to play a team who looks like a Super Bowl contender?

Winner: Chiefs

 

Oakland Raiders at Washington Redskins (Sunday Night Football)

After throwing a block party with 60,000 of his closest friends, Raiders RB Marshawn Lynch has the Raiders buzzing again. They ride into the nation’s capital against a Redskins team with a talented offense led by QB Kirk (*or Kurt?*) Cousins, and will be the first test for the Raiders’ questionable defense.

Winner: Raiders

 

Dallas Cowboys at Arizona Cardinals (Monday Night Football)

What used to be a classic NFC East beat down from 1970 until 2002, the Cowboys and Cardinals meet in a compelling Monday Night Football showdown in the desert. While the Cowboys are young and talented, they’re coming off of their most embarrassing loss of the QB Dak Prescott and Rb Ezekiel Elliott era. The Cardinals may be coming off a win, but they struggled mightily against the Andrew Luck-less Colts. This game could either save or sink either teams’ seasons.

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Winner: Cowboys

Bro-Picks: NFL Week 2 Predictions

Are you ready for some (*week 2*) football?

Week 1 of the 2017 NFL season provided a couple of surprises, namely the New England Patriots looking vulnerable and the Jacksonville Jaguars looking like the 1985 Chicago Bears. It’s only the first game mind you, but that doesn’t mean week 2 of the NFL season won’t have its fair share of tricks up its sleeve.

Last Week: 9-6

Overall: 9-6

Houston Texans at Cincinnati Bengals (Thursday Night Football)

Thursday Night Football, otherwise known as the plague of the earth, makes its unwanted return this week. This week’s snoozer features two teams known as “the kings of almost”, the Bengals and the Texans. Bengals QB Andy Dalton threw 4 interceptions last week, and Texans head coach Bill O’Brien pulled QB Tom Savage in favor of rookie QB DeShaun Watson since Savage is as mobile as a tree stump. Watson will lead the Texans to victory, and questions regarding if Dalton is the answer at QB for the Bengals will be asked more frequently.

Winner: Texans

Cleveland Browns at Baltimore Ravens

Had it not been for a blocked punt on their first possession, the Browns might have actually taken down the Steelers last Week. Browns QB DeShone Kizer looked poised considering it was his first career start, while Ravens QB Joe Flacco threw for a measly 171 yards. The Ravens defense is for real, but the Browns will show signs they are a much improved team in defeat.

Winner: Ravens

Buffalo Bills at Carolina Panthers

Bills head coach Sean McDermott faces off against his old team this week, and he’ll really want this win. Despite tossing 2 touchdowns last week, Panthers QB Cam Netwon looked rusty. Facing a tough Bills defense won’t help knock off the rust any faster, but the Bills played the equivalent of a college football team last week against the Jets. Sean McDermott is in for a real test this week.

Winner: Panthers

Arizona Cardinals at Indianapolis Colts

Cardinals RB David Johnson is out 2-3 months due to a wrist injury, not only crushing the hopes and dreams of his fantasy football owners, but also the Cardinal’s chances at contention. QB Carson Palmer looked like 38 year-old QB last week in a loss at the Lions, but they face a Colts team whose QB options are Jacoby Brissett and Scott ‘pick 6’ Tolzien. Maybe the Colts should give Colin Kaepernick a call…

Winner: Cardinals

Tennessee Titans at Jacksonville Jaguars

The Jaguars stunned many by crushing the Texans last week. Their defense looked Super Bowl worthy, collecting 10 sacks, and rookie RB Leonard Fournette looks like the real deal. The Titans came out flat against the Raiders last week, but the Jaguars will come crashing down to earth because Blake Bortles is their starting QB. Hey, did Colin Kaepernick take the Colts’ call?

Winner: Titans

Upset of the Week: Philadelphia Eagles at Kansas City Chiefs

The Chiefs dominated the 4th quarter last week against the defending Super Bowl champion Patriots, and Alex Smith finally discovered the power of throwing the ball down the field after 13 years. Eagles QB Carson Wentz knows of this power, and threw for 307 yards and 2 TDs last week against the Redskins. Without All-Pro S Eric Berry, the Chiefs could be exploited by Wentz.

Upset of the Week Winner: Eagles

New England Patriots at New Orleans Saints

There isn’t enough crow to go around for all the dopes who picked the Patriots to go 19-0 this season. Father time looked like it finally caught up to QB Tom Brady, and the Patriot’s defense looked awful. Luckily, they play the Saints, who also have a near 40 year-old QB in Drew Brees, an even worse defense, and a has been RB in Adrian Peterson who has already started bickering with overrated Saints coach Sean Payton. Not a recipe for success.

Winner: Patriots

Minnesota Vikings at Pittsburgh Steelers

The Steelers were a blocked punt away from losing to the lowly Browns, and were rescued by Facebook Live’s favorite user, WR Antonio Brown, who had 11 receptions for 182 yards last week. The Vikings looked tremendous last week, as QB Sam Bradford finally played like the number one overall pick. This is going to be a slugfest.

Winner: Steelers

Chicago Bears at Tampa Bay Buccaneers

The Bears looked better than advertised last week against the NFC champion Falcons. Bears rookie QB Mitch(*ell?*) Trubisky may have to wait a little longer behind current starter Mike Glennon. The Buccaneers on the other hand no thanks to the bumbling NFL begin their stretch of playing 16 straight games due to Hurricane Irma cancelling their week 1 match-up. Buccaneers QB Jameis Winston, who replaced Glennon, will get the better of his former teammate.

Winner: Buccaneers

Miami Dolphins at Los Angeles Chargers

The Dolphins also begin their stretch of playing 16 straight games because of the amazing incompetency of the NFL and Hurricane Irma. Thankfully, they’re playing the Chargers, who will have their home opener in a soccer stadium and find more creative ways to lose, while referees won’t remember which city they play in. By the way, how does being the RB coach of the Bills and a Rex Ryan protégé earn you a head coaching job again?

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Winner: Dolphins

Lock of the Week: New York Jets at Oakland Raiders

The Jets are tanking. The Raiders are Super Bowl contenders.

Lock of the Week Winner: Raiders

Dallas Cowboys at Denver Broncos

The Broncos were in control for much of their game against the Chargers, but needed a freeze the kicker timeout and a blocked field goal to win. Sometimes it’s better to be lucky than good, but QB Dak Prescott and the Dallas Cowboys both lucky that RB Ezekiel Elliott isn’t suspended (*yet*) and are really good.

Winner: Cowboys

Washington Redskins at Los Angeles Rams

Rams head coach Sean McVay had an impressive debut against the woeful Colts, and *gasp*, QB Jared Goff actually looked halfway competent. McVay will get a chance to stick it to his old team this week, and Redskins QB Kirk (*or is it Kurt?*) Cousins won’t like that.

Winner: Redskins

BONUS Lock of the Week: San Francisco 49ers at Seattle Seahawks

Including the playoffs, the 49ers have lost to the Seahawks 7 straight times. The last time they won in Seattle at Century Link Field, Tarvaris Jackson started at QB for the Seahawks. The 49ers looked awful last week, and the Seahawks will want to beat up on the 49ers after looking impotent against the Packers in week 1.

BONUS Lock of the Week Winner: Seahawks

Green Bay Packers at Atlanta Falcons (Sunday Night Football)

In a rematch of last year’s NFC Championship game, the Falcon’s Super Bowl Hangover will officially take over. The Packers haven’t been known for their defense the last couple of seasons, but if they play half as well as they did against the Seahawks in week 1, QB Matt Ryan and the Falcons may be in for a long night.

Winner: Packers

Detroit Lions at New York Giants (Monday Night Football)

While the Lion’s offense looked explosive last week, the Giants offense was muted without WR Odell Beckham Jr. There is such a thing as a must win game in week 2, and this is a must win game for the Giants if they want to avoid their season going off the rails before it even starts. And by the way, the new “Are You Ready For Some Football?” theme doesn’t need Florida Georgia Line and Jason Derulo. Let ol’ redneck Hank Williams Jr. have the stage all to himself before he makes another ill-advised political comment.

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Winner: Giants

 

Bro-Reviews: The Top 10 Football Movies of All Time

Are you ready for some football?

Football season has officially kicked-off, and fans everywhere will be glued to their televisions rooting for their favorite team until after the College Football Playoffs and the Super Bowl. Given the popularity of the sport, Hollywood has attempted to cash-in on the football craze by making numerous football-themed films over the years. So in-between your already filled Saturdays and Sundays, you should make time for the top 10 football films of all time.

10. Number One (1969)

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Before he became a right-wing NRA nut-job, Charlton Heston was actually a talented matinee idol. He shined in Number One as an aging quarterback for the New Orleans Saints who struggles to accept his Super Bowl winning glory days are behind whilst also maintaining his relationship with his wife, played by Jessica Walter. While Heston broke his ribs while performing his own stunts for the movie and was criticized for not having an athletic bone in his body, the film is a great character piece that for the longest time did not see the light of day on DVD until MGM finally released it on DVD in 2015.

9. (Tie) The Longest Yard (1974 & 2005)

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The original 1974 Burt Reyonolds film is one of the edgiest dark comedies of all time, and is a classic Reynolds star vehicle. While the 2005 Adam Sandler remake doesn’t have the same edge as the original, the film boasts a memorable supporting cast that delivers laughs throughout the film, and features an unusually reserved performance from star Adam Sandler. Also, Nelly’s “Here Comes the Boom” is a football anthem still used to this very day, and for good reason.

8. The Waterboy (1998)

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Perhaps Adam Sandler’s best film, The Waterboy is a hilarious football comedy. Sandler shows off his comedic chops as Bobby Boucher, and features a great comedic turn by Academy Award winner Kathy Bates as Boucher’s mom. The movie’s jokes also hold up today, and is one of the most quoted comedies of the last 20 years.

7. Rudy (1993)

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The epitome of the ultimate underdog story, Rudy is one of best crowd pleasing sports films of all time, with Sean Astin shining as Rudy Ruettiger. It perfectly captures the magic of playing for Notre Dame’s historic football program, and delivers a great message by showing how hard work and dedication can lead to one achieving their dreams. It also features one of the most iconic football movie images of all time, with fellow Notre Dame teammates carrying Rudy off the field at the film’s climax.

6. Varsity Blues (1999)

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If there were ever a film that captured the grasp high school football has over small towns in Texas, it’s Varsity Blues. While there are numerous unrealistic scenes of high schoolers committing acts of debauchery even College football programs on probation from the NCAA would blush at, the football action is intense, and the performances of James Van Der Beek as a back-up QB finally getting his shot at glory and Jon Voight as a power-hungry football coach makes Varsity Blues a football film classic.

5. Friday Night Lights (2004)

While it helps that it’s based on real life events, Friday Night Lights is a more realistic take on the stranglehold high school football has in the state of Texas. Featuring a tremendous performance by Billy Bob Thorton, who delivers one of the most motivating speeches ever captured on film, Friday Night Lights transports you back to the glory days as you embark on an emotional journey through Periman High School’s tumultuous 1988 season.

4. Jerry Maguire (1996)

Some may argue Jerry Maguire isn’t really a football film and more of a romantic comedy, but whats wrong with adding a little romance to football? The film also gives us a different perspective of the sport as we follow Tom Cruise as a football agent attempting to salvage his career by signing his last remaining client, loudmouth wide receiver Rod Tidwell, to a big money contract with the Arizona Cardinals. Cuba Gooding Jr. won the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor as Tidwell, and with so many quotable lines such as “SHOW ME THE MONEY JERRY!” and “You had me at hello.”, it’s impossible to exclude Jerry Maguire from this list.

3. Remember the Titans (2000)

A film that handles the real life subject matter of Herman Boone and racial tensions with grace, Remember the Titans is a triumph. Featuring excellent performances from Denzel Washington and  Will Patton as the coaches of the recently desegregated T.C. Williams High School in Alexandria, Virginia, Remember the Titans is an excellent football film. It’s also one of the most emotionally resonating sports films of all time, and if you’re not crying by the film’s end, your heart isn’t in the game.

2. Brian’s Song (1971)

Most television movies don’t hold a candle to theatrically released films, but Brian’s Song is an exception. Based on the true story of the relationship between Brian Piccolo (James Caan) and NFL Hall of Fame RB Gayle Sayers (Billy Dee Williams), Brian’s Song packs an emotional punch like no other football film. It holds up to this very day as one the best tales of a rivalry turned friendship, and is one of the most effective tearjerkers of all time.

1. Any Given Sunday (1999)

Perhaps misunderstood at the time of its release, Oliver Stone’s Any Given Sunday is a mirror image of the NFL today. Featuring subject matters including a QB controversy, a power struggle between a legendary head coach and young upstart General Manager, and the degenerate off the field lives of professional football players, Any Given Sunday feels more like a documentary than a fictitious piece of work. With the added help of an ensemble cast consisting of Al Pacino, Cameron Diaz, Dennis Quaid, and Jamie Foxx bringing their game faces to the film, Any Given Sunday is a football masterpiece.

 

Bro-Picks: NFL Week 1 Predictions

The road to Super Bowl LII begins.

Every journey to a championship begins somewhere, and in the NFL, that genesis is in Week 1. Your week 1 winners of the NFL will be:

Kansas City Chiefs at New England Patriots (Thursday Night Football)

If you think the Patriots are going to lose on the night they raise their fifth championship banner at home, you don’t know football. There’s a better chance of Chiefs head coach Andy Reid miraculously learning clock management after being a head coach for nearly 20 years.

Winner: Patriots

New York Jets at Buffalo Bills

The battle of New York kicks off what will be a rebuilding year for the Bills. But look on the bright side Buffalo, at least you’re not the Jets.

Winner: Bills

Atlanta Falcons at Chicago Bears

The Falcons’ Super Bowl hangover will experience some relief with a week 1 match-up against the Bears. The Bears may go into hibernation early considering their first eight games are against the Falcons, the Buccaneers, the Steelers, the Packers, the Vikings, the Ravens, the Panthers, and the Saints.

Winner: Falcons

Baltimore Ravens at Cincinnati Bengals

While the debate over whether or not Ravens QB Joe Flacco is elite will rage on, it’s the Ravens lack of offensive talent that will be muted against a talented but undisciplined Bengals defense. Bengals QB Andy Dalton is elite when it’s not November or December.

Winner: Bengals

Lock of the Week: Pittsburgh Steelers at Cleveland Browns

The Steelers Browns rivalry can be summed up in one photo… NFL: Cleveland Browns at Pittsburgh Steelers

Lock of the Week Winner: Steelers

Arizona Cardinals at Detroit Lions

One of the more interesting match-ups of week 1 features two snakebit franchises who can’t seem to get out of their own way despite the talent surrounding them. QB Matthew Stafford of the Lions will rise above the snakebit nature of the Lions, mainly because Cardinals QB Carson Palmer is too old to rise above anything at this stage of his career.

Winner : Lions

Jacksonville Jaguars at Houston Texans

Texans starting QB Tom Savage has yet to throw a touchdown pass in his career. Jaguars QB Blake Bortles has thrown 11 pick-sixes in his career, and he’ll throw another one Week 1 to once again have more pick-sixes than career wins.

Winner: Texans

Oakland Raiders at Tennessee Titans

Two teams with no defenses of note will engage in an old fashioned shoot-out in the South. The combination of QB Derek Carr, WR Amari Cooper, WR Michael Crabtree, and TE Jared Cook, otherwise known as C4, will explode their way to a week 1 victory.

Winner: Raiders

Philadelphia Eagles at Washington Redskins

QB Carson Wentz of the Eagles has some new toys to help avoid the dreaded sophomore slump after showing promise in his rookie season. Meanwhile, the Redskins still don’t know if their QB’s name is pronounced Kirk or Kurt.

Winner: Eagles

Upset of the Week: Indianapolis Colts at Los Angeles Rams

When your starting QBs for the game are Scott Tolzien and Jared Goff, you know you’re in for a long day of unwatchable football.

Upset of the Week Winner: Colts

Seattle Seahawks at Green Bay Packers

In what could be an NFC Championship game preview, it’s the Packers who will moan and complain about having to face a tough opponent Week 1. Even with a patch-work offensive line, QB Russell Wilson will hand the ball off to overweight RB Eddie Lacy for the game winning touchdown to stick it to his old team.

Winner: Seahawks

Carolina Panthers at San Francisco 49ers

Panthers QB Cam Newton will make a triumphant return to his 2015 MVP form in a dominant and dabtacular performance over the 49ers. 49ers QB Brian Hoyer “The Destroyer” will destroy the hopes and dreams of 49ers fans everywhere that their team will at least be competitive with a stat-line that will rival the awfulness of his performance against the Kansas City Chiefs in the Wild Card round back in January of 2016.

Winner: Panthers

New York Giants at Dallas Cowboys (Sunday Night Football)

Carrie Underwood (*I still miss Faith Hill*), the New York Football Giants, and America’s Team: The Dallas Cowboys. If that doesn’t spell Sunday Night Football, I don’t know what does. While all eyes will be on suspended Cowboys RB Ezekiel Elliott, it’s Giants QB Eli Manning who will make the Cowboys fans packed in Jerryworld seeing stars.

Winner: Giants

New Orleans Saints at Minnesota Vikings (Monday Night Football)

Newly acquired Saints RB Adrian Peterson will make his return to Minnesota Monday Night, but there’s no guarantee he’ll see the field since the Saints’ defense can’t stop a nose bleed.

Winner: Vikings

Los Angeles Chargers at Denver Broncos (Monday Night Football)

The Monday Night Football B-game will be called by Rex Ryan (*disaster looms*). The Chargers defense is for real, but using the reasoning of they’ve been unlucky the last two season as the reason why they will be better is fundamentally flawed. Plus, the Broncos have Von Miller, who’s really, really, ridiculously good.

Winner: Broncos